


Another Chance

by StephaniD



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Episode: s04e06 Rejoined, F/F, Happy Ending, Making Up For Past Mistakes, Past Lives, Second Chances, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:06:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27010174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephaniD/pseuds/StephaniD
Summary: Why, oh why, had they sent Lenara Kahn of all people to help Ezri get used to being joined?Ezri, in confusion about who she is now that she's Dax, lets Kahn back into her life. Surely she'd be able to not fall in love again, with all her friends watching, and knowing what happened last time. Surely Dax would know better this time. (Mostly happy ending)
Relationships: Ezri Dax/Lenara Kahn
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Another Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Rejoinessance! Thanks to the KiraDax discord for the ideas, especially Alice, Reese, and Q!

Ezri took a deep breath as the airlock opened.

“Dr. Kahn, good to see you again.” Sisko greeted. “You remember Colonel Kira, and this is Counselor Ezri Dax.” Ezri’s hands tightened behind her back as the older woman gazed at her, face impassive. She remembered crying as Lenara left, her heart breaking. She remembered leaving before Nilani woke up, intending to see her at the celebration of his successful flight. Lenara's eyebrows twitched together, the corners of her mouth turning downward for a fraction of a second. Something was wrong.

“Counselor, good to meet you.” Lenara said professionally, holding out a hand. Ezri remembered who and where she was, and quickly grasped it, squeezing too tight before letting go. She didn’t know if her stomach was doing somersaults from Torias’ memories, or Jadzia’s, or her own anxiety. Probably all of the above. Why, oh why, had they sent Lenara Kahn of all people to help Ezri get used to being joined?

“Good to meet you, too, I guess. I feel like I already know you. But you already knew that.” Ezri bit her lip. Lenara nodded.

“If we could have some alone time to talk?” She asked Sisko.

“Of course.” He nodded, he and Kira left.

“We can go to my office, no one will bother us.” Ezri offered. 

“The Symbiosis Commission said you’ve been joined for a few months.” Lenara said as they walked.

“Yup. But I’m still getting really confused, especially when I’m tired or not paying attention, and Torias makes me spacesick-” Ezri cut off as she realized what she was saying. “You probably don’t want to talk about that.”

“On the contrary, I think the Symbiosis Commission asked me to come because we have so much shared history.” Lenara sighed. “And we can talk about Nilani and Torias, I don’t mind.”

“Did they give you any sort of training for this?” Ezri asked. Lenara shook her head as they entered the counseling office.

“No, but I’ve been field docent to a number of initiates. But you weren’t an initiate, right?” It was Ezri’s turn to shake her head.

“No, I never had any intention of being joined, I just happened to be on the ship transporting Dax when sy needed to be joined, so… Here we are.” Ezri shrugged.

“Well that complicates things. I’m not sure how effective training would be post-joining, not to mention months later. Do you tend to have trouble with any previous hosts in particular?”

“Jadzia.” Ezri answered immediately. “Torias. Tobin. Curzon. Audrid. Joran.”

“So most of them.” Lenara frowned. “What sorts of trouble are you having?”

“Well, with Jadzia, because she was already so familiar with DS9, I keep forgetting I’m about 20 cm shorter than she was, and it’s been really awkward with everyone here, feeling like I know them but don’t at the same time.” Ezri answered.

“Like with me, you have Jadzia’s memories of my visit, but I don’t know anything about you.” Lenara nodded.

“Did you want to?” Ezri asked, then realized how that must sound as Lenara smiled a bit. 

“Back to Jadzia.” Lenara redirected softly. “You remember being taller, and you know people on the station, what else?”

“Well, when I think I’m still her, I’m not nearly as nervous, and that obviously has a psychosomatic response, my breathing and heart rate slow. Until I remember I’m Ezri again.”

“So this confusion about previous hosts feels different.” Lenara summarized. Ezri nodded.

“Yeah, though just about everyone was more confident than me. I kind of went through the opposite transformation as Jadzia.” She joked humorlessly.

“What do you mean?” Lenara asked.

“Before joining Jadzia was quiet and shy, after joining she became more confident and carefree. Before joining, I was confident and self-assured, but now I’m always confused and nervous.” Ezri explained. Lenara nodded.

“Could your brain be favoring Dax’s memories because they feel better than your own?” Lenara asked. “No one likes to feel anxious and confused, so…”

“I don’t know, maybe.” Ezri shrugged. “It does make sense from a psychological point of view, but I hardly know anything about the psychology of joining.”

“Do you think learning to recognize these feelings would help you realize when you’ve confused hosts? Or building your self-confidence would help it occur less?” Lenara asked.

“It’s worth a shot. I’m assuming it didn’t work like this for you.”

“No, but I was prepared to be joined. For me, it was certainly a lot to deal with, but Kahn hasn’t had as many hosts as Dax, and the confusion eased with time. The memories stayed just memories.”

“Yeah, they’re not doing that for me.” Ezri sighed. “I just get lost in a memory and kind of re-live it in a way. I’m still fully aware of what’s going on around me, and I can interact with things and people, but I forget who I am.”

“It sounds almost like a form of flashback.” Lenara observed.

“And the only training I have for that sort of thing is when it’s a trauma response.” Ezri stated.

“Well, an emergency joining is a traumatic event.” Lenara replied. “I’m assuming that aside from being rushed, your joining went well?”

“As far as I’ve heard. I don’t think Dax is only partially joined or something, the Symbiosis Commission definitely would have wanted to fix that if it happened.”

“So it's probable that Dax is still recuperating from whatever caused sym to need to be joined, and you’re still recuperating from an unprepared joining.” Lenara nodded. Ezri didn't think it was a good idea to remind Lenara that part of the reason Dax had to be joined was due to Sudden Host Death Syndrome.

“I don't think bed rest will quite do the trick.” Ezri sighed.

“Jadzia had that sense of humor, too.” Lenara smiled a bit. “Do you know if you got it from Dax?”

“Kind of. Before joining I’d think that type of stuff, after joining I’d think it and say it more often. But that may also have to do with dealing with my family.”

“Not a good relationship?” Lenara asked.

“No, my mother’s been treating this like a huge tragedy, infantilising me, and we’ve never had the best relationship.” Ezri replied. 

"I don't imagine stress would be the best thing right now." Lenara said. 

"Yeah, but I can't say no to my mother, even if she does make me forget who I am." 

"Would it be okay if we try to trigger you into remembering another host?" Lenara asked. 

"Sure, let's go to Quark's." Ezri sighed. "Jadzia's usually easiest to get confused about." 

Ezri tried to lose herself in the sights and sounds of Quark’s, tried to _want_ bloodwine, to want to play tongo with the man behind the bar. It didn’t work. She and Lenara even sat at the same table that Jadzia had when she’d begged Julian to chaperone them, to no avail.

“Of course now that I want it to happen, I’m fully aware of just how _me_ I am.” Ezri sighed.

“A scientist is used to that sort of result.” Lenara replied.

“I know.” Ezri snapped, frustrated at failing and at being condescended to. “I’m trying to remember being a scientist.”

“All I meant was that it’s not a big deal.” Lenara replied kindly. “It looks like it’s about dinnertime, we can eat and continue our conversation if you want.”

“Sure.” Ezri replied halfheartedly. Despite what Lenara said, they didn’t talk much until their food came. 

“Ezri, how old are you?” Lenara asked.

“23. Didn’t the Symbiosis Commission tell you?”

“I forgot. And you’re already Station Counselor?”

“Only because Ben knew Curzon and Jadzia, and ended up really needing a counselor here. I’m really glad he’s my friend and puts up with me, but I don’t feel ready to be a full-fledged counselor, and I wish he’d stop calling me ‘old man’.” Ezri pushed her food around her plate.

“Old man?” Lenara repeated.

“It’s what he called Curzon, and then Jadzia, but I’m already having enough trouble remembering who I am, and it feels like he values me more as Dax than Ezri, but he doesn’t even really know me as Ezri, but I kind of feel like he doesn’t want to try to know me as Ezri.” She rambled. “It’s like he knows he’s friends with Dax, so he can just ignore the outside part, the Ezri part, and that’s the part that’s struggling.” She tried to surreptitiously wipe her eyes. It didn’t work. Lenara laid a hand on her shoulder. “Sorry. I’m not usually this emotional. Well, I wasn’t before joining, I still don’t really know what I’m like after joining.”

“You’re not settled yet. I fully believe that Dax will help you be more confident and broad-thinking.”

“Yeah, that’s what the Symbiosis Commission said, too.”

“And they’re the experts.” Lenara said.

“Please-!” Ezri started harshly, then took a deep breath, trying to identify her feelings. “Don’t condescend to me. I’m young, I’m inexperienced, I need help, but I’m still an adult.”

“I’m sorry.” Lenara replied quietly. “That wasn’t my intent. You just keep getting younger, Dax. I suppose I have the opposite problem as Sisko, I’m having trouble seeing past the young person before me to the symbiont within, the people I knew.”

“Give it time, they’ll show up.” Ezri assured flatly. “Speaking of, I have a call scheduled with my mother tomorrow night if you want to sit in, I’ll probably forget who I am at least once.”

“If you would be okay with that.” Lenara nodded.

“I know I said it before, but I feel like I already know you. And in order for you to try to help me, you need to know what the problem is.” Ezri replied. “Though you are going to have to occupy yourself during the day, I’m sorry.”

“You’re still counseling patients?” Lenara frowned.

“There’s still a war on, and I don’t tend to forget who I am while at work.”

“Any idea why that is?”

“Less things to remind me of a previous host, and I’m focused on the patient and my training.” Ezri explained. “At least, I think.”

“Well, it’s your brain, you’re the expert on it.” Lenara smiled. 

-

Lenara sat to the side, out of the camera’s view, and barely in Ezri’s. The link connected and Ezri forced a smile to her face.

“Hello, mother.”

“Hello dear. How are you doing?”

“I’m good, I think I’m really helping my patients, and I’m getting closer to my coworkers.”

“And how are things with Dax?”

“They’re about the same. The Symbiosis Commission sent someone to try and help me with the memories.”

“And are they helping?” Her mother had the tone of voice that she was ready to step in if need be.

“Well she just arrived yesterday, it’s not like she can teach me everything an initiate learns in just a day.”

“I’m glad they’re still committed to helping you, and that you’re letting them. You’ve never been the best at accepting help, Ezri.”

“I know, mother.”

“So at least something good came out of this.” Her mother sighed.

“And Dax is still alive.” Ezri added.

“Well, of course, that. I meant you. I worry about you, Ezri, you know you’re always welcome to come home-”

“Mother, I have patients here, and I can’t ask for leave already unless I really need it-” Ezri tried to sound like she was staying facts, not pleading.

“So you’re going to wait until it’s an emergency-”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Then say what you mean, Ezri.” Her mother waited while Ezri stewed, stomach sour and heart pounding, she couldn’t just say she didn’t want to go home and see her family. “Ezri? Tell me what you mean.” It was like her mother was goading her, daring her to say it.

“I think…” Ezri took a shaky breath, released her fingers from where she was holding tight to the chair. “I think emotions are running high, and I don’t want to argue with you, or my brothers, so I should wait until I have a handle on Dax, and am able to properly plan some leave time.”

“Ezri, we’re your family, we love you no matter what. Please come home.”

“I just told you I can’t! And what will you do if I do come home? How will that help me? What can you do that the Symbiosis Commission couldn’t? Between them on Trill, and Doctor Bashir on the station, what could going home possibly benefit me?”

“You’ll be among family, and we’ll all feel a lot better.” Her mother replied simply. 

“You just want me to come home and never leave, but you can’t just control people like that, I would give almost anything to get Neema to come home, but some things just can’t be fixed-”

“Ezri.” Her mother leaned toward the camera. “Ezri.” She waited, frowning as Ezri calmed down. “Ezri, who is Neema?” She asked emotionlessly.

“Audrid’s daughter.” Ezri sighed. “Audrid was the um, fourth host to Dax.”

“I worry about you, seeing you lose control like that. What if something were to happen? I really think you should be somewhere safe until you’ve got Dax under control. Please come home and let me take care of you.” When Ezri didn’t respond besides a sniffle, she continued. “You were just saying you wanted Neema to come home, so you understand how I feel. I know you want to prove that you’re mature and independent enough to deal with this on your own, but Ezri, baby, you’re not.” Ezri wiped her eyes. “You need your family. Please, Ezri. I hate arguing with you. Just listen to your mother and come home, I’m sure everyone will understand. You’re still practically an ensign, they should never have given you this much responsibility-” Ezri looked up when the signal cut off to find Lenara frowning at the dark screen. 

“Blame it on the station or something. Did you want a hug?” She asked, Ezri nodded and stood. Lenara held her close.

“Talking with- with my mother. Tends to remind me of. Tobin and Audrid, and their kids.” Ezri said between shaky breaths.

“I’m on your side, for the record.” Lenara said softly, rubbing Ezri’s back. Ezri's gut lurched. _Don’t fall in love._ She repeated like a mantra. _Don’t fall in love. Learn from past host’s mistakes. Don’t fall in love._ "Seeing that, I half want to adopt you so you don't have to deal with her." Lenara sighed. Ezri's heart sank. At least there was no risk of reassociation if Lenara thought of her as a pitiful child. Ezri pulled back.

“Thanks. I think I’d like to be alone, we can talk tomorrow morning?”

“Of course. Breakfast at the Replimat?” Lenara nodded.

“You can just come over anytime between 0700 and 0800.” Ezri replied. 

-

“Can I ask about your mother?” Lenara asked over breakfast the next morning.

“Go ahead.”

“How often do you talk to her?”

“Every month. She wants it to be more.”

“Well, hopefully by your next conversation you’ll have some progress to report.”

“Hopefully.” Ezri sighed. On one hand, she absolutely did not want to end up heartbroken over Lenara like Jadzia had, and Lenara pitying her meant they wouldn’t get in a romantic relationship with each other. On the other hand, she couldn’t stand people condescending to her, she got enough of that from her family. She was an adult, a member of Starfleet, and deserved a level of respect. 

-

Over the next few weeks she and Lenara worked on ways to recognize when she was losing herself in a memory, and when a memory was coming, and how to remain focused on the present. Ezri wasn’t sure how much of her improvement was due to Lenara's kindness and patience, and how much was due to the passage of time, but she was getting better at knowing who she was, and remembering it. And Lenara wasn’t treating her like a child anymore, which might have been due to Ezri acting more mature as she gained control over Dax’s memories. But Lenara was treating her like an adult, smiling at her, reminiscing, and Ezri could see why Torias and Jadzia had fallen for Nilani and Lenara. Much as Ezri tried to ignore it, she had feelings for the older woman. 

-

Ezri gave Lenara a cheerless smile before answering the call from her mother.

“Hello, mother.”

“Ezri, I’ve heard some very alarming rumors.” Her mother started without even a greeting.

“What rumors?” Ezri frowned in confusion.

“That you’re reassociating with someone from a past life. I know dealing with Dax has been difficult, but Ezri, it’s not worth it, and this Lenara Kahn should know better herself. This isn’t you, Ezri, it’s Dax, you need to learn to distinguish between the two-”

“Actually.” Lenara interrupted, moving to stand beside Ezri, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’m here to help Ezri integrate Dax’s memories and not let them overwhelm her. While our symbionts may have had feelings for each other in previous lives, the respect, admiration, and care I feel for your daughter is completely my own, and I believe Ezri feels the same.” Lenara smiled down at her and Ezri couldn’t stop the grin on her own face in response. Lenara respected her, admired her, _cared about her_. "As for reassociation, the Symbiosis Commission asked me to help Ezri with Dax, and we're both fully aware of the consequence of reassociation." Ezri’s grin froze. So much for her wishful thinking. Lenara would never sacrifice Kahn, and Ezri would never ask her to. 

"And what makes you think you can eavesdrop on a private conversation?" Ezri's mother asked icily. 

"I invited Lenara to watch me since I tend to have trouble with Dax during our calls." Ezri defended. 

"I've always been able to remind you who you are." Her mother replied. 

"Yes, but Lenara is here with me, and we've been working on identifying that sort of thing before it happens. You said in our last conversation that you worried about me getting confused alone. Thanks to Lenara's help, that's happening far less frequently." Ezri countered. 

"Well, I am glad to hear that." Her mother acquiesced. After a few minutes of awkward small talk, Ezri ended the call. 

"I'm so proud of you." Lenara grinned. "You didn't lose track of who you are, and you seem more self-confident than last month." Ezri wanted to ask if she could kiss the other woman, but Lenara had made her feelings on reassociation clear. 

"Thanks." Ezri smiled instead. "Though I think I felt more angry than confident." 

"It does tend to feel like that sometimes." Lenara agreed. "Either way, you handled yourself well." 

-

Ezri looked up as her door chimed one evening.

“Come in.” She said, the door opened to reveal Colonel Kira.

“Can we talk, Dax?” Kira asked seriously as she stepped inside.

“Of course.” They sat on the couch together.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time with Lenara.” Kira started. Ezri’s stomach tightened. “I know you two are working together on Dax’s memories, but I- I remember how Jadzia was after she left, and I want to know how you’re doing. Unofficially, as your friend, I care about you.”

“Well, if this stays between us…” Ezri bit her lip and looked down at her clasped hands. “I love her.” She admitted quietly. “I love her and I think she loves me back, but none of that matters because Jadzia already went through this and Lenara won’t reassociate because it’ll get Kahn and Dax exiled.”

“Ezri, I have to ask, are you certain it's love? She’s in a position of relative power-” Kira started.

“She’s not coercing me.” Ezri protested.

“She’s old enough to be your mother.” Kira continued.

“I still love her.” Ezri sighed. “She’s not coercing me, if anything I’d be the one coercing her if we ever talked about our feelings. We got close once, but I didn’t want to admit how I felt about her as a response to- to something else.” Ezri covered. “And I already know how she feels about reassociation.”

“I don’t want her to break your heart again, Dax.” Kira said softly.

“Too late.” Ezri sighed. “No matter if we tell each other how we feel or not, Lenara’s going back to Trill at some point, probably some point soon. And I’ll be here, heartbroken again.” 

-

"Nope, nothing." Ezri shook her head. Triggering herself into forgetting who she was, something that could be a struggle when Lenara arrived, was getting harder and harder. It was both frustrating and promising. It didn't help that Ezri was aware of the attempts, so Lenara had started trying to surprise her into memories. It had a slightly higher success rate at first, but now rarely worked. Ezri was glad Lenara saw their failures in triggering a 'memory episode' as success at Ezri integrating with Dax. 

"You've really improved." Lenara grinned. Ezri smiled and thought, not for the first time, that one way they hadn't tried to make her remember being Jadzia was to seriously recreate what had happened last time Lenara was on the station. But no matter how Lenara felt about her, recreating those experiences would be tough on both of them, and (much as she might like to break her own heart just to kiss the other woman) Ezri couldn't ask Lenara to go through that. 

-

“Hello, mother.” Ezri greeted.

“Hello, Ezri. Is Lenara Kahn joining us?”

“Not today, I haven’t been having trouble with Dax at all recently.” Ezri replied.

“That’s very good to hear.” Her mother smiled. “So she’ll be leaving soon and all these horrible reassociation rumors can be put to rest.”

“That’s the plan.” Ezri forced herself to smile. 

-

"We’ve known each other over two months now." Lenara murmured after dinner in her quarters, a few days after Ezri talked to her mother alone. Lenara moved from the table to the couch and Ezri followed, unsure what Lenara wanted to talk about, hopeful and anxious. "When I arrived I struggled to see past the anxious young woman who needed my help. But even then you weren’t completely lost, and watching you come into your own, getting to see you so self-assured, see your genuine smile at something other than a self-deprecating joke… It's still you, Dax." Lenara sighed and Ezri's gut twisted. Was Lenara repeating herself on purpose? Or was Ezri the only one who remembered their conversations word-for-word? “Do you remember when Jadzia gave me an ultimatum?” Lenara asked softly. “Told me if I loved her I’d stay, and if I got on the transport I was never coming back?”

“I remember.” Ezri breathed.

“Well, here I am.” Lenara chuckled breathlessly. “If you’ll have me.”

“Yes!” Ezri threw herself into Lenara’s arms, then remembered something. “What about your brother?” She asked, pulling back, hoping they wouldn’t both have strained familial relationships.

“I told Bejal that I’m not going to let family stop me this time, not again. He told me he expected something like this.”

“What about exile? Kahn and Dax never getting passed on to new hosts?”

“Well, I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure of your feelings, since I didn’t want to influence them, but when the Symbiosis Commission contacted me about helping you, I got into contact with some friends with looser views on reassociation. When we die, we make sure our symbionts are sent to them, and they’ll reintroduce sym to the pools. And even if that doesn't work, if other species, and even unjoined Trill can be content to live one life, I can too, as long as we're together. I thought I lost my chance with you once before, I'm not making that mistake again, Dax." 

"You're not just in love with Dax, you love Ezri, too?" Ezri worried. Lenara very rarely called her by her personal name, it was almost always the symbiont's name. 

“Yes. I’m so proud of you Ezri, your bravery, all you’ve accomplished. I love your confidence, your perseverance, your sense of humor.” Lenara stroked her face. “Yes, I can see Torias and Jadzia in your mannerisms, but Torias would never have had the patience to become a counselor, and Jadzia was so headstrong about wanting to reassociate. You’re Ezri and Dax, and I love you.” Lenara murmured. 

“I love you too.” Ezri grinned. “I didn’t want to say anything and pressure you, I figured with the taboo, and Jadzia-”

“I know.” Lenara smiled. “And I appreciate you respecting that, it helped me realize that I had to tell you how I felt, even if you didn’t feel the same, I couldn’t take the chance that I’d lose you again. Not for a third time, not when we keep being thrown together.” 

“It’s almost like fate.” Ezri murmured. “Can I kiss you?” She asked, feeling like she’d been holding that question in for months. Lenara laughed.

“Yes, of course you can.” Lenara grinned, pulling her close for a kiss. 

-

Ezri paced her living room, shaking her hands out. It was going to be hard, but she could do this. She could do hard things. But should she talk to them alone, or together? She imagined her closest friends getting mad at her and blinked away tears. They weren’t going to be mad. Ben didn’t get mad at Jadzia, and Kira wasn’t mad a few weeks ago. Together would probably be better so she didn’t have to psych herself up all over again. She clasped her hands behind her back and strode out of her quarters. The entire way to Ops Ezri questioned herself. Maybe she ought to talk to them alone, in case they got upset. 

“Hey, Kira. Can I talk to you and Sisko?” Ezri asked with a smile. 

“Sure, Dax.” Kira headed up to the Captain’s office with her. 

“There’s something I need to tell you. Both of you.” Ezri started. Ben Sisko held up a hand. 

“It’s about Lenara.” He guessed solemnly. 

“Yes, sir.” Ezri nodded. Sisko sighed and rubbed his forehead. Kira’s lips were tight, her expression unreadable. 

“You want to reassociate with her, damn the symbiosis commission and the taboo.” Sisko continued. 

“Yes, sir.” Ezri repeated. 

“Dax, you’ve got to see how this looks.” He argued. Ezri frowned, unprepared for this line of discussion. “She came here to help you manage the symbiont and its’ memories. And now you want to reassociate with the woman who used to be your wife.” 

“It looks like we failed?” Ezri guessed. “Or like she’s coercing me? Because she’s not.” 

“Ezri, about that conversation we had…” Kira added.

“I promise I’m not coercing her, I didn’t even say anything about being in love with her until after she said she’s in love with me.” Ezri assured them, hands coming out from behind her back in a placating gesture. 

“Convince me why I shouldn’t talk you both out of this.” Sisko said. 

“We’re both grown women who don’t need your permission to date.” Ezri replied immediately, gesturing now that her hands were free. Sisko raised an eyebrow at her. “You didn’t treat Jadzia like this.” Ezri accused. 

“You’re right, but you’re not Jadzia, and maybe I should have treated her like this when she told me she wanted to reassociate with Lenara. You’d be destroying the future of two symbionts, preventing their lifetimes of memories from being passed on.” Sisko challenged. Ezri shook her head. 

“Lenara knows people on Trill who can smuggle Kahn and Dax back into the pools.” 

“How do I know that it’s Ezri who’s in love with Lenara, not Torias and Jadzia?” Sisko continued. 

“Well, when she arrived we didn’t like each other very much.” Ezri admitted. “She saw me as an anxious and confused child, a problem to solve. I was very frustrated at being condescended to, and needing help. But we got to know each other, got closer,” Ezri shrugged, “fell in love.” Sisko opened his mouth to ask another question but Ezri interrupted. “Ben, neither of us wanted this to happen.” She pleaded. “If we could live with Lenara returning to Trill, we would. I- I almost wish she hadn’t told me how she feels, I could live with the heartbreak if I thought that she didn’t love me; but knowing that she feels the same, we just can’t go through that again.” Ezri wiped her eyes. “We’ve been given another chance. Please, I don’t want to have to resign my commission or something.” Sisko sighed in defeat and nodded. 

“I understand. But I want to talk to her, alone.” He rumbled. 

“Of course.” Ezri nodded, smiling. 

“Me, too.” Kira added. 

“I’ll let her know tonight.” Ezri agreed. 

“Okay Dax, dismissed.” 

“Captain Sisko and Colonel Kira want to talk to you about us.” Ezri informed Lenara that evening over dessert. 

“They already have.” Lenara replied with a small smile. “This afternoon.” 

“I told them I’d tell you tonight.” Ezri huffed. “I’m sorry, I hope everything went okay.” 

“About as well as it could.” Lenara assured, taking Ezri’s hand and stroking it. “Captain Sisko was concerned that our feelings stemmed more from our past lives than current emotions, I assured him that we were both fully in control of our symbionts and love each other as entire beings. Colonel Kira was concerned that I was pressuring or convincing you that what we feel is real, or that you were somehow pressuring me, and I informed her that you hid your feelings from me quite well,” Lenara smiled and looked at her teasingly, “and I nearly didn’t tell you how I felt due to the pressure of the taboo. I’m fairly certain I convinced them that what we feel for each other is genuine and current.” 

"So now we just have to tell the symbiosis commission." Ezri sighed, suddenly not wanting the rest of her dessert. 

"We can get through this." Lenara assured and squeezed her hand. "Together." Ezri smiled at her. As long as they were together they'd be okay.


End file.
